I really don't care. I don't want this. First impressions, first dates, getting to know each other, advancing the relationship, risking emotional injury, being on my toes with skepticism. It's not for me right now. None of that "honeymoon" crap. I don't have the heart for it.

I want to surround myself with good male friends who already know the real me, so that I can be myself as much as I want without being self-conscious. I want to surround myself with people whom I already have a history with, so that I don't have to glaze over the basic, superficial details and even the in-depth details regarding my identity. I want to be around people I trust, who also trust me. I want inside jokes. I want that comfort zone. I want ittttt!!!!

I always did get annoyed at people who watched me read my emails or go online.

Go away! I'm reading blogs and checking personal matter!

I got sucked into hanging out with Ricky on Friday night. Which I didn't mind. But I was supposed to do homework. We went to his apartment and tried watching the Blaire Witch Project... which was not that great. Ricky walked me back to my dorm in the freezing cold and then went to hang out with his girlfriend, Veronica. And yes.. my teeth... were cold. There was company in my room by the time I got back. So I went to find Bruk, who was in Juan's room.  We migrated to his room, but he was going to sleep... so I migrated to Kamaal and Adolfo's room and hung out there for a while. Adolfo has the best $120 pillow EVER!! I want one :(.

I bumped into Stan on Saturday and hosted him for the day. Which I didn't mind (I haven't seen him since graduation and Dominique's party in the summer). But I was supposed to do homework. We talked in the cafeteria from about 2 or 3 until 6. I saw a lot of people there. Stan thinks that I know everyone. But I hardly do. Then we hung out in my room and watched a movie.  Roomie came back with company and we both tried watching our individual movies, which didn't work out so great for me.  I fed Stan some Late Night, which surprisingly does accommodate vegetarians.  Props to Stan by the way for not eating meat!  By the time Stan wanted to leave, he missed the last train... so he slept over at Bao's place again LOL. Speaking of sleep overs... I got to sleep in my room that night. Originally I was going to crash Ricky's couch because there was a guest in my room. Ricky was disappointed that we weren't going to have a slumber party. It would have been cool. But I'll take my bed over a couch any day... lol. If you're friends with Ricky, then you're in for an interesting time.

Then I had writers block on Sunday and took an exceptionally long time to write a simple paper. Before that I had breakfast with Anakaren, Mariana and Mariana's sister (Maria).  I bumped into Jack and Lee in the cafe too... Three in the morning right now and I can hardly think.

I have a busy week ahead of me and I have decided to budget my time accordingly. I hope that tomorrow goes as planned. I hope, I hope, I hope.

And also... I decided to just start blogging about anything that comes to mind now. I don't have the time to blog about profound thoughts, because those blogs take too long. Soooo... yeah. I don't want to desert my beloved collection of words :).

Working, training to commence volunteer work, going to the gym and socializing is taking too much of my time outside of class! I think that that I will be staying in the next two weekends to catch up on all of my work. But I suppose that would make up for the partying, going out and training these past two weekends. Life must have an equilibrium in there somewhere...

I have been training to join a force of volunteer suicide prevention hotline staff. Training for this suicide prevention hotline is very straining. Every time I handle a suicidal role play I freak out in my head. I always feel like being on this hotline isn't enough help.

I started my intermediate salsa classes. Love themmmmm!

I have been slipping up here and there, but I think that I am beginning to find a good balance. Hopefully, when my classwork gets more hectic, it won't tip the scales!

This semester, I really want to...
1. Improve my Spanish skills
     -Recover and expand grammar/vocabulary, augment oral and auditory skills
2. Continue to be on the Dean's List
     -Get kick ass grades
3. Lose the 15 or so pounds of fat that I gained during the Fall/holidays *blush*
     -Go to the gym 4-5 times a week
4. Socialize and meet even more people!
     -Make time to party a weeeee bit more :).
5. Finish my training and commence volunteering

Recently, I have been stressing out about relationships. I'm quite tired of doing all of the legwork, so I'm not going to force any issues.

Old friends can remain just that. Old friends. I don't have anything to prove here. I am not going to beg for any petty, insincere reunions. If you don't care, then I don't care.

Also noteworthy- boys can be boys and I will sure as hell continue to be a girl!